Don't write like this!

This writer spends enormous amount of time and space saying very little.

I retain information best when I have to apply that knowledge to actual situations. The type of environment that Top School promotes fits the mold of my optimal learning environment. The breadth of knowledge gained from the case method will provide me with an understanding and background of many industries in addition to improving my verbal presentation skills. The daily exposure to the expertise of other MBA’s will help me improve my relative weaknesses through case study groups. I am highly optimistic about the program because of the strength and diversity of the student body.

I was fortunate enough this past summer to speak candidly with a local Top School alum who shared with me his experience in the program. Although he focused on a different area of management than I intend to, we shared a similar perspective on the MBA experience. It was refreshing to speak with someone who was deeply involved in the Top School curriculum who wholeheartedly endorsed the program to me based on my background, expectations of the graduate business school experience, and career goals. Like him, I don’t want to be pigeonholed into a narrowly focused technical management career as I am now. Although, I am responsible for the productivity and safety of 100-150 people on large commercial construction projects, which is very fulfilling, my duties are still quite narrow in scope. I want to move into management which may not happen on my current path. Top School will give me the breadth of knowledge that I need to be successful as a manager. The "inside" information I’ve acquired from students and alumni enhances my confidence that the program will provide the elements that I consider essential to a successful and well rounded MBA experience.

I want a degree that is both universally respected and one that allows me flexibility and control in choosing my career path. I am not seeking a finance degree despite the obvious strength of Top School’s finance faculty, although that will be my concentration. Rather, I want a general management MBA with a concentration in finance. I plan to use finance as my path through the management ranks. One day I may decide to begin my own firm when a marketable idea comes to me and the timing is correct. Regardless of my ultimate path, the generalist approach will certainly prepare me to capitalize on opportunities as they present themselves.

I have become very interested in the field of information technology over the past several years. Doors will open to people like myself as the Internet/PC/software, telecommunication, and cable television industries converge. I feel extremely optimistic about the prospects in these markets because of the increasing stream of new products and ideas flowing into the marketplace. These companies need both financing assistance and management expertise to be successful. The favorable market conditions and the exponential growth of Internet technology indicates that this trend will not only continue, but most likely will accelerate. My experience in making quick changes to adapt to fluid client expectations and general market demands will prove invaluable to my success in this field. The four years I’ve spent in the fast paced, client focused commercial construction industry has prepared me for success in this exciting new venture.

I feel confident that my individual strengths and experiences will provide me with a good opportunity for success during and after my time at Top School and will certainly add a unique perspective to the MBA program that cannot be taught in a classroom. The focus on teamwork, which draws high praise from your students, will be a tremendous opportunity for me to learn from and share with the other MBA’s in the program. That contact will result in lasting friendships and essential contacts when we all begin our post-MBA careers. I am satisfied that Top School can provide the opportunities to smooth my transition from my current position to a challenging internship and then into my post-MBA career. The MBA program will not only give me the skills necessary to move into the management role I seek, but will also provide for personal growth. The talents I cultivate at Top School will further sharpen the skills I need to be an excellent manager, and strong leader in the area of information technology. I look forward to the chance to study in a challenging and competitive setting comparable to the one I have become used to at the ABC Company.